SO… Restart and Zombies
I have decided to yet again restart my blog. the first order of business… educate people on zombie survival. This is a paper I wrote a few weeks ago. I did not do as much as I would have liked so if you have any questions post em. I effin love zombies 🙂
Ever since the horror genre began and quite possibly before then there has been an age old question, “How do you survive a zombie apocalypse?” I myself began contemplating this only a few years ago and I believe I can shed some light on the matter.
What Are Zombies?
The first task at hand is to determine what exactly zombies are. According to “Dictionary.com” a zombie is:
- A person whose behavior or responses are wooden, listless, or seemingly remote.
- (In Voodoo) The body of a dead person given the semblance of life but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.
- A snake god worshiped in West Indian and Brazilian religious practices of African origin.
Now my own research and understanding of the “pop-culture zombie” is that a zombie is a reanimated corpse or a mutation that causes an excessive need to feed on living humans. For the purpose of this essay we are using the latter of the definitions.
How to kill a zombie.
Killing a zombie is much simpler than you may realize. All you have to do is destroy the brain whether it is through bludgeoning, slicing, shooting, or decapitation. The preferred method is with a melee weapon as it is silent. Guns are also highly effective but cost precious ammunition.
Weapons.
Guns
Most of the time when people think about how to kill, or in this case re-kill, something; the first thing they picture are guns. Guns are great but they have several limiting factors that take them out of being a main weapon. First, they are loud. If you were on a scouting trip and you saw a zombie and shot him in the head it would accomplish 3 things. It would first kill the zombie. Secondly I would cost you a round of ammunition that you could have saved. Lastly you just alerted every zombie within a mile where you are. One of the other limiting factors of guns is the ammunition. It is limited and you really can’t make any yourself. Lastly guns simply break. It is really hard to fix a gun when surrounded by a horde of ravenous blood thirsty zombies.
Blades
Blades are one of my favorite weapons. They have been around for thousands of years and are incredibly simple. A blade is essentially anything that is sharp. The most common types of blades are knives and swords. Blades are the preferred method for killing zombies. They are quick efficient, and don’t use ammunition. If you need to sharpen one you can just use a brick or a fine stone off the ground. It won’t be the sharpest blade ever but it will get the job done.
However within the blade category there are some things that you want to avoid. First of all are combat knives, the ones with the serrations on the back. These are great survival knives but not great zombie killing knives. The reason is because of the serrations. Although they are good for cutting wood they have a tendency to get stuck on bones and the last thing you want is for your knife to get stuck in a zombies head leaving you weaponless. The second things you want to avoid with blades are those display cased battle axes and swords (You want to avoid ANY battle axe.). I know they look cool and shiny but you must resist the temptation to use them. Display blades are cheap and they are made out of stainless steel. Stainless steel is shiny and rust resistant but it is not very strong or durable. As far as battle axes are concerned, just don’t use them at all. I know you want to go all Warcraft on the zombies but battle axes have drawbacks that would get you killed. If you ever find a real one you’ll notice that they are extremely heavy. They are also very long which makes them slow. All in all they just are suited for zombie killing.
When looking for a good bade there are a few certain details to look for. Most of the time if it is shiny it is made out of stainless steel. You don’t want that because it is weak. You want something made out of either 440 steel (knives) or high carbon steel (swords). The best way to tell the difference for swords is the weight. A good solid sword should weigh about four pounds. The equivalent made out of stainless steel would way about two pounds. There are some exceptions to this however. Machetes, for example, are very good durable blades they are also light.
Ranged
Ranged weapons (i.e. bows or spears) (Not Guns.) are very useful in any survival situation. You can injure or kill your enemy before they get anywhere near you. The other benefit of most ranged weapons is that they are silent and the one that use ammunition is re-usable. There are some very important things to consider for a ranged weapon. First what materials do you have? What is the expected range of use? How well trained in that weapon are you? These are all important to consider as they will help you decide which type of weapon to make or scavenge.
If you don’t have many supplies then your best bet would be to make a simple spear. Basically you find a heavy stick anywhere from 4ft. to 6ft. and make it pointy. The downside to spears is that they are gone once you throw them and their effective range is only about 20ft. If you have more supplies and time you should make a bow. In a post-apocalyptic world the easiest way to make a bow would be to find some PVC pipe (that white tubing you see at the hardware store). You want a piece that is about 5ft. long. You will then make a notch about half an inch deep on both ends. You then need to find some heavy cord (i.e. 550 cord) and tie it at both ends so that the PVC has a bow in it. Then you can find some straight sticks of wooden dowels notch them at one end and make a point at the other. Tada a rudimentary bow; this gives an effective range of 20ft. to 200ft. + depending on your accuracy.
Vehicles.
Vehicles are yet another one of the items people really don’t think about. When there are no longer maintained roads or service stations you have to be careful of which vehicle you choose. SUV’s are big and use lots of gas so unless you and your group of people are using one vehicle or transporting a lot of supplies, they are not recommended. Cars are small and fuel efficient. I restate; they are small so even if they get great mpg’s you aren’t going to be able to run over a zombie and not get stuck. The best choice would be motorcycles, preferably dirt bikes or induros (dirt bike with head lights). They get an average of 50-70 miles per gallon and are small enough to go through trees. They also have the ability to drive over almost anything. Other than vehicles you best choice would be a horse, bicycle, or your feet since they don’t use gas and are silent.
Clothing.
Clothing is something you should always think about when you get a chance. It can determine many things; whether you are agile, armored, or just look good. Plate/chain mail (knight armor) is really durable and will protect you from any zombie that thinks you look tasty. Consider this though; you get surrounded and get knocked over in your plate armor, you just became a can of food waiting to be opened because you can’t get back up. Regular street clothes; they don’t provide much protection even if they do make you look good. The best thing to wear would be leather. It is highly bite resistant, fairly easy to come by, and best of all makes anyone look really cool.
There are many things that need to be analyzed during a zombie apocalypse. Weapons, vehicles, and clothing are just a few but they will make a significant difference between surviving and becoming a chew toy for the living dead. The most important thing to remember is to think about your choices and plan ahead.
Benymol's Blog: a blog about, games,tv, stupidity, and other things. 